cristina wrote: Hello everybody, my name is Cristina and i did Reiki I, three years ago.
During the 2 day course i felt a deep peace and was very interested while we were explained what Reiki mean...When I received the initiation I felt very much the moment ( maybe I need to mention first that i am very emotional and i get touched easily)
...After i continued to practice and at point i stopped, i am not sure why.
Last year i had some serious medical problems, to translate it, I have problems in throat chakra area and Root chakra area.
5 days ago i started to practice again Reiki and the outcome i felt it pretty dramatical. I felt restlessness, irritability, annoyed, extremely emotional, very worried and very unhappy.
The last 2 days i didnt practice, i stopped because i felt it was too much, that i cant handle. I feel that i cant let myself to be seen at work or by my husband in this state and feel that its to much for me.
I am confused and need some help and advice.
I would like to continue and hope to start soon my healing but i dont understand what its wrong and dont know what to do.
Thank you very much that you had the patience to read my story
Hi Cristina
First of all, welcome to the Lounge!
I am glad you have decided to start your Reiki practice again and suggest that you continue with it - even if you approach it in a slightly different way. All the symptoms and effects you mention show that there is some deep healing taking place and, although it may seem unpleasant in the short term, I am sure you will gain great benefits in the slightly longer term.
Chujiro Hayashi, who you may remember from your Reiki 1 training was the student of Mikao Usui who taught Hawayo Takata, who introduced Reiki to the West, taught that we can think of ourselves as a stream. Although the surface water may appear clean and fresh, below there is a build-up of mud and sediment, accumulated over a period of time (which could symbolise the issues you say you have in the throat and root chakras).
In order to remove that mud we need to reach into the clear water down to the bottom and unfortunately, we can't remove the mud without disturbing it. This has the result of clouding and muddying the clear water (the symptoms you mention). Eventually, because we can't remove all the mud in one go, the mud settles again and the stream becomes clear again - until the next time we have the opportunity to remove some more mud. So you can see that the process of healing deeper, or more chronic issues, can take a longer period and result in some temporary effects that may not be pleasant. It is a bit like having to take nasty tasting medicine that you hope will make you feel better eventually.
Some suggestions to help tone down the effects you are experiencing may be to meditate for a while before starting your self-Reiki. This does not have to be a complicated affair. All you need do is sit quietly with your hands in Gassho (palms together or prayer position) and breathe normally. Focus your attention on either the tips of your middle fingers or your tanden (3 fingerwidths below your navel and about the same distance in). If thoughts intrude and your attention wanders, don't get annoyed with yourself, just notice that your focus has changed and gently bring it back to where you were focusing before.
This will allow you to approach your self-Reiki in a calm relaxed way, in case you were approaching it with fear and worry about how you may feel during and after it!
Another suggestion is to smile while you are doing the Reiki hand positions! As simple as that sounds, it really can make a difference to how you feel about your Reiki session! If you know any other Reiki practitioners, it may also be a good idea to receive regular treatments from them, which will allow you to completely relax into the session, not worrying about hands positions etc.
Finally, I don't know if you were taught to recite the Five Reiki Principles (Gokai) every day but this is an excellent practice for helping you bring balance to your mind and body and really can help to deal with the various emotions that may surface throughout your day.
Here is a reminder of them (I like to say them in the first person as affirmations when I say them in English - normally I say them in Japanese

)
Just for today
I let go of anger
I let go of worry
I am grateful
I work hard
I am kind to (myself and) others
If you are worried about how you may appear to others at work, try doing your Reiki in the evenings or when you get home from work. Try to find some time and a place to yourself so you can practice your Reiki in peace and have some time to compose yourself if you find that strong emotions come up during the session. If they do come up during the session, let them flow and release freely. To settle down and compose yourself afterwards, just breathe! Take a few nice slow deep breaths and smile!
I hope that helps!
